








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1115 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 138 matches | ||
| Wingman | 57 matches | ||
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2730 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,820 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2867 | 37% |
| Smokes | 1566 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1407 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1980 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $624,447 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2320 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -7ls | 60% | 15 |
| #2 | KHORAVAR | 56% | 16 |
| #3 | Balista | 53% | 32 |
| #4 | Thepopg | 53% | 19 |
| #5 | Tusty | 50% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Balista | 53% | 32 |
| #4 | Thepopg | 53% | 19 |
| #5 | Tusty | 50% | 34 |
| #6 | π¦πππΆπ | 48% | 21 |
| #7 | crypse | 40% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tusty | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Balista | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | π¦πππΆπ | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | KHORAVAR | 1 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -7ls | 36 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #2 | Balista | 34 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | Thepopg | 33 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | π¦πππΆπ | 19 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | Tusty | 17 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | π¦πππΆπ | +4.33 | 93 | 20 |
| #2 | tumu | +3.04 | 88 | 57 |
| #3 | Balista | +0.66 | 73 | 46 |
| #4 | KHORAVAR | -1.37 | 54 | 48 |
| #5 | Thepopg | -1.45 | 69 | 64 |





