








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 353 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1982 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,150 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 685 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1384 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 688 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1393 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $894,657 of utility $232 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 764 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | REDDRRUM | 56% | 55 |
| #2 | joe | 54% | 79 |
| #3 | Shiesty | 51% | 55 |
| #4 | Daquavious Bingleton | 50% | 123 |
| #5 | Triple T | 50% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Shiesty | 51% | 55 |
| #4 | Daquavious Bingleton | 50% | 123 |
| #5 | Triple T | 50% | 42 |
| #6 | sauerpower15 | 41% | 22 |
| #7 | SirWizzop | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | joe | 15 | 0.0089 |
| #2 | Shiesty | 10 | 0.0094 |
| #3 | Triple T | 7 | 0.0080 |
| #4 | Daquavious Bingleton | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | REDDRRUM | 3 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daquavious Bingleton | 357 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #2 | Triple T | 171 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #3 | joe | 124 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | Shiesty | 113 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | REDDRRUM | 31 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shiesty | +4.53 | 68 | 61 |
| #2 | Vladimir Nigenhiemer | +2.71 | 73 | 45 |
| #3 | joe | +1.09 | 46 | 38 |
| #4 | Triple T | -0.58 | 62 | 41 |
| #5 | Daquavious Bingleton | -1.70 | 69 | 49 |





