








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 785 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 216 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 79 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2897 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,366 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2537 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2290 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2433 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2106 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,368,138 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 254 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | REDDRRUM | 53% | 104 |
| #2 | joe | 52% | 178 |
| #3 | Vladimir Nigenhiemer | 50% | 123 |
| #4 | Shiesty | 50% | 130 |
| #5 | SirWizzop | 49% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | joe | 27 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | Vladimir Nigenhiemer | 22 | 0.0085 |
| #3 | Shiesty | 19 | 0.0076 |
| #4 | Triple T | 6 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | REDDRRUM | 5 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shiesty | 282 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #2 | joe | 249 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #3 | Triple T | 236 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #4 | Vladimir Nigenhiemer | 167 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | REDDRRUM | 53 | 0.03 | 1 min |





