








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 255 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
582 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 702 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 236 | 34% |
| Smokes | 206 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 79 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 181 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $316,745 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 35 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Triple T | 44% | 9 |
| #2 | Vladimir Nigenhiemer | 41% | 22 |
| #3 | joe | 39% | 38 |
| #4 | Daquavious Bingleton | 39% | 51 |
| #5 | REDDRRUM | 39% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Vladimir Nigenhiemer | 41% | 22 |
| #3 | joe | 39% | 38 |
| #4 | Daquavious Bingleton | 39% | 51 |
| #5 | REDDRRUM | 39% | 69 |
| #6 | Shiesty | 33% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | joe | 9 | 0.0125 |
| #2 | Vladimir Nigenhiemer | 6 | 0.0140 |
| #3 | REDDRRUM | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Shiesty | 2 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | Daquavious Bingleton | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daquavious Bingleton | 88 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #2 | REDDRRUM | 48 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | joe | 44 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Vladimir Nigenhiemer | 30 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Triple T | 25 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shiesty | +4.84 | 67 | 47 |
| #2 | joe | +3.41 | 56 | 36 |
| #3 | Vladimir Nigenhiemer | +3.13 | 68 | 50 |
| #4 | Daquavious Bingleton | +0.88 | 68 | 52 |
| #5 | REDDRRUM | -2.82 | 29 | 22 |





