








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 719 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 274 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3295 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,644 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1616 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2352 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3228 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 2448 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,024,429 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 935 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shiesty | 62% | 66 |
| #2 | REDDRRUM | 56% | 86 |
| #3 | Vladimir Nigenhiemer | 54% | 79 |
| #4 | Daquavious Bingleton | 52% | 178 |
| #5 | Triple T | 52% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XXiJ | 18 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | Vladimir Nigenhiemer | 14 | 0.0085 |
| #3 | Triple T | 10 | 0.0079 |
| #4 | Shiesty | 8 | 0.0067 |
| #5 | Daquavious Bingleton | 6 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daquavious Bingleton | 418 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #2 | XXiJ | 302 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #3 | Triple T | 214 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #4 | Shiesty | 138 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | Vladimir Nigenhiemer | 121 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shiesty | +5.70 | 72 | 59 |
| #2 | XXiJ | +3.41 | 74 | 34 |
| #3 | Vladimir Nigenhiemer | +3.29 | 69 | 47 |
| #4 | joe | +0.74 | 50 | 41 |
| #5 | Daquavious Bingleton | -0.09 | 70 | 52 |





