








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 641 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 175 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 166 matches | ||
| Premier | 145 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 106 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 32 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 163 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




86 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7800 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,720 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3498 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3209 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3278 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4735 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,215,837 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 232 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NBA*FEMBOY | 58% | 126 |
| #2 | AAA | 54% | 571 |
| #3 | Chisato | 52% | 601 |
| #4 | Hooka | 51% | 51 |
| #5 | 我讨厌美国胖女人 | 51% | 333 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Chisato | 52% | 601 |
| #4 | Hooka | 51% | 51 |
| #5 | 我讨厌美国胖女人 | 51% | 333 |
| #6 | небеса | 51% | 85 |
| #7 | ₊+‧𝕃̶𝕒̶𝕔̶𝕖̶ | 49% | 308 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chisato | 84 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | AAA | 54 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | 我讨厌美国胖女人 | 42 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | NBA*FEMBOY | 17 | 0.0069 |
| #5 | небеса | 10 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chisato | 1877 | 0.16 | 42 min |
| #2 | AAA | 1708 | 0.15 | 34 min |
| #3 | 我讨厌美国胖女人 | 771 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #4 | ₊+‧𝕃̶𝕒̶𝕔̶𝕖̶ | 665 | 0.11 | 15 min |
| #5 | NBA*FEMBOY | 439 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AAA | +2.05 | 71 | 51 |
| #2 | небеса | +1.98 | 69 | 62 |
| #3 | Chisato | +1.81 | 75 | 47 |
| #4 | NBA*FEMBOY | +1.67 | 73 | 51 |
| #5 | ₊+‧𝕃̶𝕒̶𝕔̶𝕖̶ | +0.47 | 51 | 53 |





