








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 589 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 139 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 128 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 43 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 65 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




57 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6834 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,084 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5499 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4747 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3959 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3879 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,786,132 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 125 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chisato | 55% | 484 |
| #2 | Kukusiki | 54% | 571 |
| #3 | Hooka | 53% | 43 |
| #4 | 我讨厌美国胖女人 | 52% | 292 |
| #5 | ₊+‧𝕃̶𝕒̶𝕔̶𝕖̶ | 51% | 284 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Hooka | 53% | 43 |
| #4 | 我讨厌美国胖女人 | 52% | 292 |
| #5 | ₊+‧𝕃̶𝕒̶𝕔̶𝕖̶ | 51% | 284 |
| #6 | небеса | 51% | 63 |
| #7 | NBA*FEMBOY | 48% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chisato | 62 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | Kukusiki | 60 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | 我讨厌美国胖女人 | 31 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | небеса | 8 | 0.0059 |
| #5 | NBA*FEMBOY | 6 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chisato | 1649 | 0.18 | 37 min |
| #2 | Kukusiki | 956 | 0.09 | 16 min |
| #3 | 我讨厌美国胖女人 | 625 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #4 | ₊+‧𝕃̶𝕒̶𝕔̶𝕖̶ | 605 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #5 | NBA*FEMBOY | 231 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AAA | +2.07 | 71 | 51 |
| #2 | небеса | +1.99 | 71 | 67 |
| #3 | Chisato | +1.70 | 75 | 48 |
| #4 | NBA*FEMBOY | +0.91 | 70 | 53 |
| #5 | ₊+‧𝕃̶𝕒̶𝕔̶𝕖̶ | +0.40 | 50 | 54 |





