








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 620 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 143 matches | ||
| Premier | 126 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 126 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 48 matches | ||
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 107 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




92 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8010 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,427 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5235 | 26% |
| Smokes | 6961 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 3141 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 5090 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,604,077 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 298 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hooka | 60% | 43 |
| #2 | AAA | 55% | 484 |
| #3 | небеса | 53% | 57 |
| #4 | Kukusiki | 52% | 601 |
| #5 | 我讨厌美国胖女人 | 51% | 272 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | AAA | 55% | 484 |
| #3 | небеса | 53% | 57 |
| #4 | Kukusiki | 52% | 601 |
| #5 | 我讨厌美国胖女人 | 51% | 272 |
| #6 | ₊+‧𝕃̶𝕒̶𝕔̶𝕖̶ | 51% | 278 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kukusiki | 69 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | AAA | 41 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | 我讨厌美国胖女人 | 41 | 0.0078 |
| #4 | небеса | 9 | 0.0077 |
| #5 | ₊+‧𝕃̶𝕒̶𝕔̶𝕖̶ | 4 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AAA | 1442 | 0.15 | 29 min |
| #2 | Kukusiki | 1036 | 0.09 | 18 min |
| #3 | 我讨厌美国胖女人 | 587 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #4 | ₊+‧𝕃̶𝕒̶𝕔̶𝕖̶ | 550 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #5 | небеса | 159 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chisato | +1.83 | 75 | 47 |
| #2 | AAA | +1.77 | 71 | 50 |
| #3 | небеса | +1.50 | 69 | 60 |
| #4 | ₊+‧𝕃̶𝕒̶𝕔̶𝕖̶ | +0.43 | 51 | 52 |
| #5 | Kukusiki | -0.36 | 39 | 32 |





