










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 133 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2996 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,210 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2295 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2169 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1297 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2449 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $509,591 of utility $70 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hooka | 57% | 37 |
| #2 | AAA | 51% | 284 |
| #3 | Chisato | 51% | 278 |
| #4 | ๆ่ฎจๅ็พๅฝ่ๅฅณไบบ | 50% | 188 |
| #5 | Kukusiki | 49% | 308 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | AAA | 51% | 284 |
| #3 | Chisato | 51% | 278 |
| #4 | ๆ่ฎจๅ็พๅฝ่ๅฅณไบบ | 50% | 188 |
| #5 | Kukusiki | 49% | 308 |
| #6 | NBA*FEMBOY | 43% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chisato | 38 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | Kukusiki | 33 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | AAA | 24 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | ๆ่ฎจๅ็พๅฝ่ๅฅณไบบ | 17 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | NBA*FEMBOY | 6 | 0.0078 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chisato | 940 | 0.18 | 20 min |
| #2 | AAA | 870 | 0.16 | 17 min |
| #3 | Kukusiki | 469 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #4 | ๆ่ฎจๅ็พๅฝ่ๅฅณไบบ | 405 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #5 | NBA*FEMBOY | 126 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AAA | +1.75 | 71 | 51 |
| #2 | Chisato | +1.40 | 76 | 49 |
| #3 | NBA*FEMBOY | +0.82 | 71 | 57 |
| #4 | โ+โง๐ฬถ๐ฬถ๐ฬถ๐ฬถ | +0.45 | 52 | 52 |
| #5 | Kukusiki | -0.65 | 39 | 34 |





