








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 428 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
674 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,555 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1235 | 48% |
| Smokes | 671 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 502 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 147 | 6% |
Our logs show you have wasted $562,778 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 226 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | holdy woldy | 83% | 23 |
| #2 | MrxQuality | 66% | 38 |
| #3 | ExOhGame$. | 66% | 32 |
| #4 | Shrimp | 60% | 104 |
| #5 | holdz | 60% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | holdz | 15 | 0.0084 |
| #2 | Shrimp | 7 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | holdy woldy | 3 | 0.0070 |
| #4 | MrxQuality | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | holdz | 647 | 0.36 | 16 min |
| #2 | Shrimp | 291 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | holdy woldy | 149 | 0.35 | 4 min |
| #4 | ExOhGame$. | 112 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #5 | Rick Astley | 102 | 0.44 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | holdy woldy | +6.28 | 76 | 74 |
| #2 | holdz | +4.69 | 75 | 70 |
| #3 | Rick Astley | +3.50 | 75 | 52 |
| #4 | ExOhGame$. | +1.79 | 39 | 57 |
| #5 | Supa | +1.60 | 44 | 40 |





