








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 603 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 151 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2132 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,421 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1791 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1657 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 3378 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 2595 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,500,978 of utility $216 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1030 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Westrn | 66% | 38 |
| #2 | holdz | 60% | 91 |
| #3 | Shrimp | 56% | 145 |
| #4 | Trucey | 56% | 18 |
| #5 | ExOhGame$. | 55% | 137 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | holdz | 60% | 91 |
| #3 | Shrimp | 56% | 145 |
| #4 | Trucey | 56% | 18 |
| #5 | ExOhGame$. | 55% | 137 |
| #6 | holdy woldy | 54% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | holdz | 22 | 0.0122 |
| #2 | Shrimp | 8 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | holdy woldy | 7 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | ExOhGame$. | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Trucey | 2 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | holdz | 673 | 0.37 | 18 min |
| #2 | holdy woldy | 601 | 0.29 | 16 min |
| #3 | ExOhGame$. | 461 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #4 | Shrimp | 422 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #5 | Westrn | 104 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | holdz | +4.40 | 78 | 68 |
| #2 | holdy woldy | +3.39 | 68 | 72 |
| #3 | ExOhGame$. | +1.34 | 42 | 62 |
| #4 | Shrimp | -0.36 | 37 | 48 |
| #5 | MrxQuality | -0.54 | 33 | 48 |





