








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1651 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 65 matches | ||
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 58 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3362 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,451 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5735 | 37% |
| Smokes | 4447 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3949 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1320 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $746,566 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1782 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | MrxQuality | 60% | 91 |
| #6 | Westrn | 60% | 94 |
| #7 | Shrimp | 57% | 280 |
| #8 | Rick Astley | 52% | 23 |
| #9 | bubbles | 36% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shrimp | 21 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | MrxQuality | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Westrn | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | ExOhGame$. | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Trucey | 2 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shrimp | 638 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #2 | ExOhGame$. | 346 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #3 | Westrn | 306 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #4 | MrxQuality | 194 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | Rick Astley | 172 | 0.40 | 3 min |





