








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 427 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 184 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 58 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3222 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,793 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2583 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2677 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3319 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2214 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,518,332 of utility $208 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 622 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trucey | 68% | 19 |
| #2 | Westrn | 66% | 32 |
| #3 | holdz | 65% | 105 |
| #4 | holdy woldy | 57% | 63 |
| #5 | Shrimp | 57% | 137 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | holdy woldy | 57% | 63 |
| #5 | Shrimp | 57% | 137 |
| #6 | MrxQuality | 55% | 137 |
| #7 | thorns. | 42% | 26 |
| #8 | bubbles | 30% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | holdz | 22 | 0.0104 |
| #2 | Shrimp | 9 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | holdy woldy | 9 | 0.0071 |
| #4 | MrxQuality | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Trucey | 3 | 0.0074 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | holdz | 786 | 0.37 | 22 min |
| #2 | holdy woldy | 424 | 0.34 | 12 min |
| #3 | MrxQuality | 338 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #4 | Shrimp | 299 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | thorns. | 68 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | holdz | +4.55 | 74 | 72 |
| #2 | holdy woldy | +3.31 | 65 | 69 |
| #3 | thorns. | +1.52 | 52 | 50 |
| #4 | ExOhGame$. | +1.42 | 43 | 60 |
| #5 | MrxQuality | -0.84 | 34 | 48 |





