








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5144 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 436 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 423 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 211 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 192 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 176 matches | ||
| Premier | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 38 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 113 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




77 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
15975 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,628 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4043 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3352 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 5888 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 1345 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $7,875,569 of utility $229 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10982 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spudz | 66% | 122 |
| #2 | howareyou | 66% | 88 |
| #3 | ♥ / Xepher | 63% | 120 |
| #4 | Femboy Vi | 55% | 295 |
| #5 | chudington | 52% | 292 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ♥ / Xepher | 63% | 120 |
| #4 | Femboy Vi | 55% | 295 |
| #5 | chudington | 52% | 292 |
| #6 | femboy rokku ♡ +1000 rizz | 51% | 151 |
| #7 | zoeybikes | 35% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chudington | 18 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Spudz | 9 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Femboy Vi | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | femboy rokku ♡ +1000 rizz | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | zoeybikes | 6 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Femboy Vi | 758 | 0.13 | 20 min |
| #2 | femboy rokku ♡ +1000 rizz | 416 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #3 | howareyou | 361 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #4 | Spudz | 180 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | ♥ / Xepher | 166 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥ / Xepher | +5.92 | 86 | 46 |
| #2 | Spudz | +4.86 | 91 | 65 |
| #3 | Femboy Vi | +4.45 | 80 | 68 |
| #4 | chudington | +3.48 | 74 | 15 |
| #5 | howareyou | +1.39 | 72 | 71 |





