








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 179 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 49 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1448 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,586 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 374 | 24% |
| Smokes | 416 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 373 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 423 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $128,601 of utility $54 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 73 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Zeneth | 65% | 34 |
| #12 | 𝔹-𝕃𝟘𝕎 ಠ ‿↼ | 62% | 21 |
| #13 | SNIFFER_dog | 58% | 12 |
| #14 | Pegasus | 58% | 12 |
| #15 | ⚡M1LLER | 56% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mustafa Yusuf | 7 | 0.0150 |
| #2 | ⚡M1LLER | 3 | 0.0089 |
| #3 | Hjalmar the Blind Man | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | Der Anker | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Zeneth | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hjalmar the Blind Man | 106 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #2 | Der Anker | 78 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | Mustafa Yusuf | 71 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | ⚡M1LLER | 55 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | Dawner. | 32 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mustafa Yusuf | +3.23 | 78 | 57 |
| #2 | KL0W0FF1C1AL | +3.00 | 73 | 43 |
| #3 | Zinni | +1.77 | 73 | 65 |
| #4 | Hjalmar the Blind Man | +0.90 | 65 | 54 |
| #5 | Der Anker | +0.70 | 51 | 70 |





