








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 695 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 350 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1923 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,305 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 618 | 10% |
| Smokes | 3053 | 48% |
| HE Grenades | 795 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 1839 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,200,918 of utility $226 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1000 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Micro | 52% | 313 |
| #2 | m1tsuki | 51% | 460 |
| #3 | Plyn15 | 51% | 379 |
| #4 | 愚かな馬鹿 | 50% | 344 |
| #5 | Lolpro._bon_appetit | 49% | 206 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Micro | 52% | 313 |
| #2 | m1tsuki | 51% | 460 |
| #3 | Plyn15 | 51% | 379 |
| #4 | 愚かな馬鹿 | 50% | 344 |
| #5 | Lolpro._bon_appetit | 49% | 206 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m1tsuki | 52 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | 愚かな馬鹿 | 39 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | Plyn15 | 33 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | Micro | 32 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | Lolpro._bon_appetit | 9 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m1tsuki | 1747 | 0.19 | 34 min |
| #2 | Micro | 837 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #3 | Lolpro._bon_appetit | 338 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | 愚かな馬鹿 | 53 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| #5 | Plyn15 | 18 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m1tsuki | +9.59 | 82 | 56 |
| #2 | Micro | -0.77 | 28 | 37 |
| #3 | Plyn15 | -1.70 | 26 | 6 |
| #4 | 愚かな馬鹿 | -3.32 | 4 | 5 |
| #5 | mi$eria | -3.35 | 22 | 16 |





