








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3539 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 361 matches | ||
| Wingman | 46 matches | ||
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 95 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




54 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5263 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,885 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5976 | 26% |
| Smokes | 5988 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5562 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5359 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,399,741 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2476 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 愚かな馬鹿 | 51% | 351 |
| #2 | Micro | 51% | 316 |
| #3 | Plyn15 | 51% | 386 |
| #4 | mi$eria | 51% | 460 |
| #5 | Lolpro._bon_appetit | 50% | 205 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 愚かな馬鹿 | 51% | 351 |
| #2 | Micro | 51% | 316 |
| #3 | Plyn15 | 51% | 386 |
| #4 | mi$eria | 51% | 460 |
| #5 | Lolpro._bon_appetit | 50% | 205 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mi$eria | 47 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | 愚かな馬鹿 | 40 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | Plyn15 | 35 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | Micro | 32 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | Lolpro._bon_appetit | 9 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Micro | 833 | 0.13 | 16 min |
| #2 | Lolpro._bon_appetit | 329 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | mi$eria | 217 | 0.02 | 4 min |
| #4 | 愚かな馬鹿 | 53 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| #5 | Plyn15 | 18 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m1tsuki | +8.55 | 82 | 61 |
| #2 | Micro | -0.92 | 26 | 43 |
| #3 | Plyn15 | -1.82 | 27 | 10 |
| #4 | mi$eria | -3.33 | 24 | 23 |
| #5 | 愚かな馬鹿 | -3.45 | 3 | 8 |





