








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 62 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
847 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,406 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 496 | 21% |
| Smokes | 739 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 492 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 679 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $260,446 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 91 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Krius | 64% | 33 |
| #2 | big swimmer | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | F. C. Hosie (Ironman btw ⛟✨) | 57% | 7 |
| #4 | KorAmerican // [tC] | 56% | 9 |
| #5 | Papa Strawnks | 50% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Krius | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Barley | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Ravenpaw | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | F. C. Hosie (Ironman btw ⛟✨) | 1 | 0.0068 |
| #5 | big swimmer | 1 | 0.0105 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | coen | 82 | 0.46 | 2 min |
| #2 | Aegir | 68 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| #3 | Krius | 56 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | Barley | 43 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Ravenpaw | 43 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KorAmerican // [tC] | +3.09 | 52 | 59 |
| #2 | signify | +2.78 | 82 | 59 |
| #3 | Toby | +1.80 | 71 | 56 |
| #4 | .Tripii | +1.48 | 51 | 58 |
| #5 | coen | +1.29 | 57 | 57 |





