








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 620 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 216 matches | ||
| Premier | 128 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3659 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,487 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5121 | 29% |
| Smokes | 5366 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3644 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3356 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,295,046 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | plainttv | 62% | 21 |
| #2 | SirRed_ | 58% | 67 |
| #3 | xXGERALDxGAMINGXx | 57% | 65 |
| #4 | coen | 56% | 183 |
| #5 | maygaze | 56% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | maygaze | 56% | 32 |
| #6 | Tripii | 56% | 374 |
| #7 | Michael | 56% | 326 |
| #8 | signify | 55% | 383 |
| #9 | Papa Strawnks | 53% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tripii | 15 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | signify | 10 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | maygaze | 5 | 0.0075 |
| #4 | coen | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | SirRed_ | 3 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | coen | 1108 | 0.28 | 29 min |
| #2 | signify | 639 | 0.08 | 18 min |
| #3 | Tripii | 599 | 0.07 | 17 min |
| #4 | Michael | 580 | 0.08 | 17 min |
| #5 | xXGERALDxGAMINGXx | 183 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | signify | +2.30 | 86 | 64 |
| #2 | coen | +0.69 | 70 | 68 |
| #3 | Aegir | +0.26 | 81 | 72 |
| #4 | Tripii | -0.24 | 54 | 66 |
| #5 | xXGERALDxGAMINGXx | -0.78 | 64 | 69 |





