








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 170 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 76 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1030 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,292 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1249 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1203 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 903 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 937 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $308,686 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2925 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tutenchamun | 69% | 16 |
| #2 | burglerladder_vs | 60% | 60 |
| #3 | Praise-The-Blyat | 55% | 20 |
| #4 | CleanupCrew | 53% | 30 |
| #5 | Mr. Sauberman | 50% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | CleanupCrew | 53% | 30 |
| #5 | Mr. Sauberman | 50% | 34 |
| #6 | Blyat-The-Praise | 47% | 19 |
| #7 | smol chicken | 43% | 7 |
| #8 | Black Chicken | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CleanupCrew | 3 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | burglerladder_vs | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Blyat-The-Praise | 2 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | Mr. Sauberman | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Tutenchamun | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | burglerladder_vs | 153 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | Mr. Sauberman | 70 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | CleanupCrew | 68 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | Blyat-The-Praise | 63 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | Praise-The-Blyat | 54 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ikaw Gilding | +1.24 | 52 | 67 |
| #2 | Mr. Sauberman | +0.97 | 64 | 68 |
| #3 | CleanupCrew | +0.43 | 56 | 61 |
| #4 | Praise-The-Blyat | +0.22 | 39 | 49 |
| #5 | Black Chicken | -0.11 | 46 | 57 |





