








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 108 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 159 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2078 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,082 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1727 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1628 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1212 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1515 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $667,875 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 96 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smol chicken | 62% | 34 |
| #2 | JayP | 53% | 38 |
| #3 | burglerladder_vs | 52% | 138 |
| #4 | Ikaw Gilding | 50% | 34 |
| #5 | Praise-The-Blyat | 49% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | burglerladder_vs | 52% | 138 |
| #4 | Ikaw Gilding | 50% | 34 |
| #5 | Praise-The-Blyat | 49% | 92 |
| #6 | Wunder Schamane | 48% | 124 |
| #7 | Black Chicken | 40% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Praise-The-Blyat | 6 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | burglerladder_vs | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | smol chicken | 3 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | Wunder Schamane | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | JayP | 2 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | burglerladder_vs | 297 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #2 | Wunder Schamane | 263 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | Praise-The-Blyat | 216 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | Ikaw Gilding | 96 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | JayP | 55 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smol chicken | +1.89 | 56 | 57 |
| #2 | Black Chicken | +1.57 | 41 | 61 |
| #3 | Wunder Schamane | +1.36 | 48 | 69 |
| #4 | Mr. Sauberman | +1.33 | 61 | 70 |
| #5 | Ikaw Gilding | +1.04 | 48 | 71 |





