








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 41 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
609 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,548 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 478 | 31% |
| Smokes | 395 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 303 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 372 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $241,362 of utility $208 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 69 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Black Chicken | 50% | 4 |
| #6 | Blyat-The-Praise | 50% | 8 |
| #7 | Praise-The-Blyat | 50% | 16 |
| #8 | smol chicken | 38% | 8 |
| #9 | Ikaw Gilligan | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ikaw Gilding | 6 | 0.0093 |
| #2 | burglerladder_vs | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Blyat-The-Praise | 2 | 0.0116 |
| #4 | Wunder Schamane | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ikaw Gilding | 108 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #2 | burglerladder_vs | 71 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | Wunder Schamane | 56 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | Praise-The-Blyat | 48 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Blyat-The-Praise | 34 | 0.20 | 0 min |





