








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 446 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 475 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3281 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,936 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4061 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3776 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4538 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2561 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,226,884 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1172 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smol chicken | 61% | 38 |
| #2 | Ikaw Gilding | 60% | 60 |
| #3 | JayP | 54% | 56 |
| #4 | Wunder Schamane | 52% | 132 |
| #5 | Mr. Sauberman | 52% | 138 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Praise-The-Blyat | 48% | 178 |
| #8 | Tutenchamun | 45% | 51 |
| #9 | 你好臭 | 43% | 81 |
| #10 | Ikaw Gilligan | 42% | 93 |
| #11 | Black Chicken | 40% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Praise-The-Blyat | 11 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Mr. Sauberman | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Ikaw Gilligan | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Wunder Schamane | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Ikaw Gilding | 4 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Praise-The-Blyat | 428 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #2 | Wunder Schamane | 301 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #3 | Mr. Sauberman | 262 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #4 | Ikaw Gilligan | 240 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #5 | 你好臭 | 176 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CleanupCrew | +1.99 | 58 | 65 |
| #2 | Mr. Sauberman | +1.69 | 61 | 71 |
| #3 | Ikaw Gilding | +1.60 | 54 | 68 |
| #4 | Wunder Schamane | +1.46 | 50 | 70 |
| #5 | smol chicken | +1.33 | 51 | 59 |





