








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 719 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 202 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 65 matches | ||
| Wingman | 26 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4382 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,070 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3432 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2476 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2976 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3186 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,159,946 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 120 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | b4bY_jOt4 | 52% | 58 |
| #7 | KIMBERLY TU PATRONA | 51% | 47 |
| #8 | ♔ c0mpl9x ♔ | 48% | 25 |
| #9 | D4HACK-P3eK | 47% | 32 |
| #10 | Erizo | 43% | 28 |





