










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 170 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 56 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
675 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,408 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 686 | 28% |
| Smokes | 488 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 724 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 510 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $225,060 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 107 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lambda | 3 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lambda | 148 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #2 | HeyImGary | 54 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | Nikzz | 45 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | Dutchy | 18 | 0.20 | 0 min |
| #5 | osba:D | 5 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dutchy | +3.25 | 86 | 66 |
| #2 | Silans bad | +2.16 | 78 | 59 |
| #3 | Nikzz | +1.26 | 82 | 70 |
| #4 | Lambda | +0.54 | 77 | 74 |
| #5 | osba:D | +0.06 | 75 | 60 |





