








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 35 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1202 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,346 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1910 | 44% |
| Smokes | 1050 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 417 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 969 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $182,864 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1240 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ejeCt | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | PølleTheCracker | 83% | 6 |
| #3 | zOFIA | 75% | 12 |
| #4 | MissVest | 67% | 18 |
| #5 | kapper :-P | 67% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Zero | 55% | 11 |
| #12 | deddo | 53% | 15 |
| #13 | ✪ $h4d0w lay lay シ ♥ | 50% | 10 |
| #14 | Pewpew^^ I CAN^T HIT | 47% | 19 |
| #15 | [ClanDGM]-[PedeDK] | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lil'Jyden | 36 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #2 | deddo | 30 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | larsen | 30 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #4 | Zero | 29 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| #5 | Pewpew^^ I CAN^T HIT | 20 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PølleTheCracker | +10.31 | 84 | 69 |
| #2 | ShoxieGOD | +6.25 | 80 | 67 |
| #3 | deddo | +2.92 | 80 | 42 |
| #4 | Zero | +1.34 | 79 | 23 |
| #5 | Lil'Jyden | +0.78 | 62 | 51 |





