








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2870 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Ancient | 252 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 248 matches | ||
| Premier | 227 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 222 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 129 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 125 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 76 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




60 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12678 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 40,011 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12088 | 30% |
| Smokes | 9727 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 8679 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 9517 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,806,819 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 272 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Adolf HEE HEE | 2629 | 0.22 | 68 min |
| #2 | Jews cleaner | 1803 | 0.16 | 50 min |
| #3 | JVME | 1069 | 0.20 | 26 min |
| #4 | burgerMEiSTER | 939 | 0.13 | 19 min |
| #5 | MaHaKingKie | 728 | 0.10 | 16 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jews cleaner | +5.18 | 87 | 61 |
| #2 | FORD666 | +3.71 | 88 | 59 |
| #3 | JVME | +3.56 | 85 | 69 |
| #4 | edfre | +2.96 | 71 | 63 |
| #5 | MaHaKingKie | +0.76 | 80 | 54 |





