








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 33 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
105 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 209 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 53 | 25% |
| Smokes | 53 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 57 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 46 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $33,848 of utility $58 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝙰𝚛𝚗𝚎𝚜 | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | jontalinen | 50% | 2 |
| #3 | KVN | 22% | 9 |
| #4 | Slonk | 20% | 10 |
| #5 | Keanu Reeves | 19% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | jontalinen | 50% | 2 |
| #3 | KVN | 22% | 9 |
| #4 | Slonk | 20% | 10 |
| #5 | Keanu Reeves | 19% | 26 |
| #6 | Mivvah | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Keanu Reeves | 14 | 0.0347 |
| #2 | KVN | 12 | 0.0736 |
| #3 | Slonk | 8 | 0.0442 |
| #4 | 𝙰𝚛𝚗𝚎𝚜 | 3 | 0.0395 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Keanu Reeves | 25 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #2 | Slonk | 15 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #3 | KVN | 12 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #4 | 𝙰𝚛𝚗𝚎𝚜 | 9 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #5 | jontalinen | 4 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Keanu Reeves | +4.82 | 76 | 34 |
| #2 | 𝙰𝚛𝚗𝚎𝚜 | +2.88 | 95 | 57 |
| #3 | KVN | +0.97 | 66 | 45 |
| #4 | Mivvah | -2.26 | 76 | 33 |
| #5 | Slonk | -3.21 | 48 | 27 |





