








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 96 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 262 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2619 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,299 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4228 | 34% |
| Smokes | 4469 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 1544 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 2058 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $590,976 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 114 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Triple Cheeseburger | 62% | 29 |
| #2 | Aminuos | 56% | 36 |
| #3 | V5V5 | 53% | 160 |
| #4 | 夜使 | 45% | 158 |
| #5 | SEED | 43% | 122 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | v5v5 | 40% | 47 |
| #10 | FAZER | 40% | 87 |
| #11 | Thousand bird | 39% | 71 |
| #12 | Chisato | 38% | 182 |
| #13 | Mr.Lex | 28% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HARRY_HAPPY | 49 | 0.0144 |
| #2 | Thousand bird | 46 | 0.0311 |
| #3 | V5V5 | 34 | 0.0105 |
| #4 | Emper0r | 26 | 0.0086 |
| #5 | 夜使 | 21 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HARRY_HAPPY | 766 | 0.22 | 15 min |
| #2 | V5V5 | 649 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #3 | 夜使 | 637 | 0.19 | 15 min |
| #4 | Thousand bird | 464 | 0.31 | 10 min |
| #5 | v5v5 | 197 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thousand bird | +6.04 | 71 | 54 |
| #2 | v5v5 | +3.28 | 52 | 56 |
| #3 | 夜使 | +2.89 | 53 | 63 |
| #4 | HARRY_HAPPY | +2.43 | 60 | 54 |
| #5 | V5V5 | +0.94 | 49 | 45 |





