








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 261 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 505 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




60 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5664 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,032 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9003 | 36% |
| Smokes | 6514 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5144 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4371 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,464,694 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 82 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | v5v5 | 54% | 52 |
| #2 | Chinese cat can fly | 51% | 264 |
| #3 | wangyuan | 50% | 68 |
| #4 | 김민정 | 49% | 456 |
| #5 | r-EIsEI | 49% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | IU的小狗 | 49% | 226 |
| #8 | 穿豹纹内裤做绝美少妇 | 47% | 106 |
| #9 | Dr.Sun | 45% | 158 |
| #10 | FAZER | 42% | 78 |
| #11 | Chisatozz | 40% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 朱鸡渤的昊巴 | 98 | 0.0242 |
| #2 | 김민정 | 75 | 0.0079 |
| #3 | Chinese cat can fly | 46 | 0.0085 |
| #4 | IU的小狗 | 46 | 0.0098 |
| #5 | wangyuan | 21 | 0.0144 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 김민정 | 1955 | 0.21 | 35 min |
| #2 | Chinese cat can fly | 1219 | 0.22 | 23 min |
| #3 | 朱鸡渤的昊巴 | 1024 | 0.25 | 21 min |
| #4 | Dr.Sun | 399 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #5 | 穿豹纹内裤做绝美少妇 | 300 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 朱鸡渤的昊巴 | +4.32 | 65 | 57 |
| #2 | r-EIsEI | +1.65 | 65 | 53 |
| #3 | v5v5 | +1.34 | 46 | 43 |
| #4 | 김민정 | +1.31 | 48 | 52 |
| #5 | Tall Hand | +1.24 | 48 | 62 |





