








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 283 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 468 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




101 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5351 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,269 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6939 | 34% |
| Smokes | 4460 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4440 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4430 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,030,155 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 226 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | r-EIsEI | 53% | 40 |
| #2 | wangyuan | 50% | 30 |
| #3 | Tall Hand | 49% | 456 |
| #4 | 穿豹纹内裤做绝美少妇 | 48% | 93 |
| #5 | Chinese cat can fly | 47% | 216 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | IU的小狗 | 46% | 214 |
| #7 | 朱鸡渤的昊巴 | 46% | 163 |
| #8 | FAZER | 42% | 97 |
| #9 | Dr.Sun | 42% | 161 |
| #10 | Chisatozz | 39% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 朱鸡渤的昊巴 | 89 | 0.0263 |
| #2 | Chinese cat can fly | 48 | 0.0107 |
| #3 | Tall Hand | 46 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | IU的小狗 | 36 | 0.0080 |
| #5 | wangyuan | 11 | 0.0170 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tall Hand | 1829 | 0.19 | 42 min |
| #2 | Chinese cat can fly | 955 | 0.21 | 19 min |
| #3 | 朱鸡渤的昊巴 | 859 | 0.25 | 16 min |
| #4 | Dr.Sun | 500 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #5 | 穿豹纹内裤做绝美少妇 | 245 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 朱鸡渤的昊巴 | +4.79 | 65 | 55 |
| #2 | r-EIsEI | +1.80 | 68 | 47 |
| #3 | 김민정 | +1.70 | 50 | 53 |
| #4 | Tall Hand | +1.07 | 47 | 62 |
| #5 | wangyuan | +0.66 | 53 | 43 |





