








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 129 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 78 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
672 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,326 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 531 | 23% |
| Smokes | 623 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 621 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 551 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $273,785 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HeroinOverdose | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | Klarafa | 67% | 9 |
| #3 | Szczelina | 50% | 8 |
| #4 | lacki | 45% | 11 |
| #5 | marcinek_zlb | 45% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | marcinek_zlb | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Andrzej Kostka | 3 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | schyeah | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | HeroinOverdose | 2 | 0.0091 |
| #5 | cygan | 2 | 0.0108 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | marcinek_zlb | 165 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #2 | nie ma yoya w domu | 68 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #3 | schyeah | 46 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | Andrzej Kostka | 44 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Szczelina | 44 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HeroinOverdose | +5.86 | 86 | 54 |
| #2 | osiemano | +4.04 | 63 | 26 |
| #3 | Szczelina | +2.95 | 69 | 65 |
| #4 | cygan | +2.51 | 46 | 37 |
| #5 | schyeah | +2.44 | 76 | 43 |





