








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1538 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,621 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 376 | 14% |
| Smokes | 485 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 694 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1066 | 41% |
Our logs show you have wasted $492,718 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Milfy | 82% | 17 |
| #2 | 유지 | 60% | 15 |
| #3 | bigjuice | 56% | 90 |
| #4 | 909Holland | 50% | 120 |
| #5 | Pikachew | 47% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | bigjuice | 56% | 90 |
| #4 | 909Holland | 50% | 120 |
| #5 | Pikachew | 47% | 43 |
| #6 | UnHoly42 | 45% | 106 |
| #7 | Frogs | 44% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 909Holland | 8 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Pikachew | 4 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | UnHoly42 | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | bigjuice | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | 유지 | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 909Holland | 315 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #2 | UnHoly42 | 182 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | Pikachew | 121 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | bigjuice | 92 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | 유지 | 89 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bigjuice | +1.95 | 76 | 56 |
| #2 | Frogs | +1.73 | 72 | 58 |
| #3 | Gummy | +0.18 | 54 | 34 |
| #4 | UnHoly42 | -0.07 | 54 | 58 |
| #5 | 유지 | -0.28 | 40 | 52 |





