








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 401 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 153 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1234 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,963 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1029 | 35% |
| Smokes | 631 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 635 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 668 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $494,453 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 335 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CrimsonPyro99 | 50% | 30 |
| #2 | Elmo On Fire | 44% | 48 |
| #3 | S1mba♛ | 40% | 25 |
| #4 | drai | 40% | 35 |
| #5 | Tonton | 40% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tonton | 8 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | IsaTheOtaku | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | modrai | 4 | 0.0070 |
| #4 | drai | 3 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | CrimsonPyro99 | 3 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tonton | 398 | 0.27 | 12 min |
| #2 | SeismicGreen | 256 | 0.44 | 6 min |
| #3 | IsaTheOtaku | 209 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | Elmo On Fire | 149 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #5 | drai | 58 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | drai | +6.32 | 89 | 44 |
| #2 | Elmo On Fire | +5.80 | 87 | 63 |
| #3 | Tonton | +4.78 | 39 | 69 |
| #4 | RagingBanobo | +2.22 | 56 | 43 |
| #5 | CrimsonPyro99 | +1.95 | 33 | 44 |





