








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1174 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 421 matches | ||
| Premier | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 133 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5377 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,937 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5509 | 33% |
| Smokes | 5251 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 5396 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 781 | 5% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,286,083 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 124 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CЯA2Y | 61% | 46 |
| #2 | M4ze | 56% | 93 |
| #3 | 0rc4 | 53% | 281 |
| #4 | Laux | 53% | 62 |
| #5 | Rafell | 53% | 147 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Abel | 51% | 95 |
| #10 | mIXERN | 50% | 66 |
| #11 | SKULLFAJZ | 49% | 70 |
| #12 | Coyote | 48% | 83 |
| #13 | Pollemiz | 43% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cilopacius | 4 | 0.0006 |
| #2 | 0rc4 | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | Captain Holm | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | Rafell | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Coyote | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cilopacius | 706 | 0.10 | 17 min |
| #2 | Captain Holm | 565 | 0.10 | 16 min |
| #3 | M4ze | 271 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #4 | 0rc4 | 254 | 0.04 | 7 min |
| #5 | Rafell | 252 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DENNIS-G | +3.60 | 86 | 64 |
| #2 | mIXERN | +2.45 | 83 | 54 |
| #3 | M4ze | +1.73 | 61 | 75 |
| #4 | Abel | +1.39 | 60 | 72 |
| #5 | Doomhax | +0.95 | 49 | 81 |





