








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 264 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 274 matches | ||
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2173 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,512 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1607 | 15% |
| Smokes | 3633 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1949 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3323 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,554,225 of utility $198 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 122 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CЯA2Y | 60% | 35 |
| #2 | Rafell | 59% | 94 |
| #3 | M4ze | 57% | 81 |
| #4 | DENNIS-G | 53% | 281 |
| #5 | Captain Holm | 53% | 180 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Coyote | 53% | 57 |
| #7 | mIXERN | 53% | 59 |
| #8 | cilopacius | 52% | 246 |
| #9 | SKULLFAJZ | 51% | 43 |
| #10 | Abel | 50% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DENNIS-G | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #2 | cilopacius | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | Rafell | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cilopacius | 602 | 0.11 | 15 min |
| #2 | Captain Holm | 433 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #3 | DENNIS-G | 353 | 0.05 | 10 min |
| #4 | M4ze | 221 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #5 | Rafell | 109 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DENNIS-G | +4.84 | 88 | 63 |
| #2 | mIXERN | +2.84 | 84 | 54 |
| #3 | Abel | +2.35 | 67 | 68 |
| #4 | M4ze | +1.56 | 61 | 75 |
| #5 | CЯA2Y | -0.13 | 42 | 66 |





