








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 28 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
811 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,542 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 791 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1068 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 821 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 862 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $164,203 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 328 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beatwood | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | ashley | 73% | 11 |
| #3 | MrBeefMissile | 71% | 7 |
| #4 | drink | 65% | 48 |
| #5 | Starmiya | 61% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | MrBeefMissile | 71% | 7 |
| #4 | drink | 65% | 48 |
| #5 | Starmiya | 61% | 31 |
| #6 | ray | 56% | 82 |
| #7 | Akrepi | 53% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | drink | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Akrepi | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | ashley | 1 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | drink | 149 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #2 | Akrepi | 129 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | Starmiya | 94 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | ray | 51 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | MrBeefMissile | 20 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Akrepi | +2.73 | 84 | 71 |
| #2 | Starmiya | +1.49 | 72 | 75 |
| #3 | drink | +0.81 | 54 | 79 |
| #4 | ray | +0.76 | 72 | 41 |
| #5 | rikker | +0.07 | 38 | 55 |





