








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 109 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1602 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,371 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2190 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1938 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 833 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 1410 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $746,089 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 64 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | drink | 49% | 108 |
| #2 | Starmiya | 48% | 46 |
| #3 | TR( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) | 46% | 39 |
| #4 | 007DBR9 | 45% | 38 |
| #5 | ray | 43% | 204 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ray | 43% | 204 |
| #6 | Akrepi | 42% | 24 |
| #7 | Notelracbeck | 40% | 20 |
| #8 | Opzy | 39% | 59 |
| #9 | ashley | 38% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Opzy | 19 | 0.0153 |
| #2 | Akrepi | 4 | 0.0083 |
| #3 | drink | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | 007DBR9 | 3 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | ashley | 3 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | drink | 320 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #2 | ray | 186 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #3 | Opzy | 185 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | 007DBR9 | 122 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | Starmiya | 111 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Akrepi | +2.86 | 81 | 61 |
| #2 | drink | +1.75 | 57 | 75 |
| #3 | TR( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) | +1.31 | 67 | 58 |
| #4 | Starmiya | +1.23 | 74 | 64 |
| #5 | ray | +0.83 | 71 | 42 |





