








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 359 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 174 matches | ||
| Faceit | 106 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4573 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,265 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4301 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4741 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4387 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2836 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $594,774 of utility $70 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 317 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TR( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) | 69% | 35 |
| #2 | ashley | 58% | 31 |
| #3 | drink | 57% | 98 |
| #4 | ray | 54% | 226 |
| #5 | rikker | 53% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ray | 54% | 226 |
| #5 | rikker | 53% | 47 |
| #6 | 007DBR9 | 48% | 25 |
| #7 | Opzy | 47% | 77 |
| #8 | MrBeefMissile | 42% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Opzy | 18 | 0.0116 |
| #2 | ray | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | drink | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | ashley | 3 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | 007DBR9 | 2 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | drink | 328 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #2 | Opzy | 236 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #3 | ray | 214 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #4 | rikker | 145 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | TR( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) | 94 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Akrepi | +3.13 | 86 | 65 |
| #2 | TR( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) | +1.01 | 67 | 62 |
| #3 | ray | +0.70 | 70 | 43 |
| #4 | drink | +0.28 | 52 | 77 |
| #5 | rikker | -0.82 | 36 | 53 |





