








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 360 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 437 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5032 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,003 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5878 | 39% |
| Smokes | 3781 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2533 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2811 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $776,116 of utility $74 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 625 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cr0wn | 60% | 42 |
| #2 | Guts | 57% | 35 |
| #3 | RALPH NIGGUM | 57% | 58 |
| #4 | Wiger Woods | 50% | 129 |
| #5 | LGTBQCentralCee | 49% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | metal gear snake | 48% | 33 |
| #7 | Angelsquad | 48% | 99 |
| #8 | Tweqel | 48% | 50 |
| #9 | Flomp._. | 42% | 31 |
| #10 | ✪ F3AR | 38% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LGTBQCentralCee | 9 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | RALPH NIGGUM | 8 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | Tweqel | 4 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | metal gear snake | 4 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | Wiger Woods | 3 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wiger Woods | 323 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #2 | metal gear snake | 115 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | Tweqel | 113 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Angelsquad | 104 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | LGTBQCentralCee | 78 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RALPH NIGGUM | +3.32 | 72 | 45 |
| #2 | Cr0wn | +2.88 | 96 | 44 |
| #3 | ✪ F3AR | +2.66 | 92 | 33 |
| #4 | LGTBQCentralCee | +2.55 | 73 | 48 |
| #5 | Flomp._. | +1.56 | 57 | 49 |





