








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 238 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 683 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 86 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8486 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,565 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4015 | 21% |
| Smokes | 5258 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4821 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5471 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,165,399 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 351 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flomp._. | 56% | 126 |
| #2 | RALPH NIGGUM | 51% | 274 |
| #3 | Kyden | 51% | 45 |
| #4 | ✪ F3AR | 49% | 261 |
| #5 | twxzey | 49% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ✪ F3AR | 49% | 261 |
| #5 | twxzey | 49% | 47 |
| #6 | WiggyM8 | 49% | 70 |
| #7 | Angelsquad | 48% | 458 |
| #8 | Tripwana | 45% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Angelsquad | 18 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | RALPH NIGGUM | 15 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | ✪ F3AR | 14 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Flomp._. | 10 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | WiggyM8 | 7 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Angelsquad | 578 | 0.06 | 13 min |
| #2 | RALPH NIGGUM | 340 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #3 | WiggyM8 | 311 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #4 | Flomp._. | 187 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | twxzey | 130 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ F3AR | +1.86 | 94 | 36 |
| #2 | LGTBQCentralCee | +1.50 | 73 | 55 |
| #3 | RALPH NIGGUM | +0.90 | 68 | 50 |
| #4 | Flomp._. | +0.61 | 66 | 41 |
| #5 | Tripwana | +0.16 | 63 | 52 |





