








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 118 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




57 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1112 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,640 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 874 | 53% |
| Smokes | 150 | 9% |
| HE Grenades | 472 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 144 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $221,760 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phantasmoon | 385 | 0.69 | 4 min |
| #2 | Toilet Is Peaceful | 383 | 0.47 | 3 min |
| #3 | zero impact creature | 79 | 0.33 | 1 min |
| #4 | lil gyu | 24 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #5 | delulu | 5 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PISSBOY123 | +6.02 | 85 | 31 |
| #2 | delulu | +3.81 | 57 | 18 |
| #3 | zero impact creature | +1.23 | 93 | 53 |
| #4 | Dough Son | +1.19 | 41 | 44 |
| #5 | Toilet Is Peaceful | -2.12 | 17 | 24 |





