








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 69 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 223 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




146 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2653 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,083 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2675 | 53% |
| Smokes | 1271 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 704 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 433 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,099,454 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RATPEEK Naiv | 34% | 82 |
| #2 | Phantasmoon | 17% | 47 |
| #3 | PISSBOY123 | 17% | 42 |
| #4 | lil gyu | 13% | 16 |
| #5 | zero impact creature | 10% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RATPEEK Naiv | 34% | 82 |
| #2 | Phantasmoon | 17% | 47 |
| #3 | PISSBOY123 | 17% | 42 |
| #4 | lil gyu | 13% | 16 |
| #5 | zero impact creature | 10% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RATPEEK Naiv | 95 | 0.0587 |
| #2 | PISSBOY123 | 45 | 0.0558 |
| #3 | Phantasmoon | 36 | 0.0395 |
| #4 | zero impact creature | 13 | 0.0387 |
| #5 | lil gyu | 7 | 0.0189 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RATPEEK Naiv | 681 | 0.42 | 6 min |
| #2 | Phantasmoon | 635 | 0.70 | 6 min |
| #3 | PISSBOY123 | 392 | 0.49 | 3 min |
| #4 | zero impact creature | 94 | 0.28 | 1 min |
| #5 | lil gyu | 71 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RATPEEK Naiv | +10.80 | 93 | 41 |
| #2 | PISSBOY123 | +6.66 | 81 | 31 |
| #3 | lil gyu | +1.15 | 67 | 27 |
| #4 | zero impact creature | -0.27 | 83 | 51 |
| #5 | Toilet Is Peaceful | -0.79 | 24 | 31 |





