








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
684 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,525 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 731 | 48% |
| Smokes | 227 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 359 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 208 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $122,274 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | lil gyu | 27% | 11 |
| #4 | PISSBOY123 | 21% | 14 |
| #5 | Phantasmoon | 13% | 16 |
| #6 | RATPEEK Naiv | 12% | 25 |
| #7 | Toilet Is Peaceful | 10% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RATPEEK Naiv | 28 | 0.0642 |
| #2 | Toilet Is Peaceful | 19 | 0.0557 |
| #3 | PISSBOY123 | 19 | 0.0792 |
| #4 | Phantasmoon | 15 | 0.0521 |
| #5 | lil gyu | 3 | 0.0140 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RATPEEK Naiv | 202 | 0.46 | 2 min |
| #2 | Phantasmoon | 173 | 0.60 | 3 min |
| #3 | Toilet Is Peaceful | 144 | 0.42 | 1 min |
| #4 | PISSBOY123 | 132 | 0.55 | 1 min |
| #5 | lil gyu | 34 | 0.16 | 1 min |





