










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
46 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 3 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $16,850 of utility $51 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | finley | 50% | 2 |
| #2 | DC | 45% | 11 |
| #3 | WOLFGANG | 44% | 16 |
| #4 | .Cook | 40% | 10 |
| #5 | kashim | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | finley | 50% | 2 |
| #2 | DC | 45% | 11 |
| #3 | WOLFGANG | 44% | 16 |
| #4 | .Cook | 40% | 10 |
| #5 | kashim | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WOLFGANG | 2 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | kashim | 1 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kashim | 26 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #2 | DC | 24 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #3 | .Cook | 17 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | WOLFGANG | 15 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | finley | 2 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WOLFGANG | +5.03 | 80 | 30 |
| #2 | DC | +3.63 | 55 | 60 |
| #3 | finley | +3.32 | 23 | 57 |
| #4 | kashim | +1.21 | 50 | 32 |
| #5 | .Cook | +1.16 | 39 | 37 |





