










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 175 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
630 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 718 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 140 | 19% |
| Smokes | 194 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 271 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 113 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $288,383 of utility $246 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DC | 45% | 38 |
| #2 | finley | 44% | 18 |
| #3 | .Cook | 44% | 27 |
| #4 | BUBBLES | 44% | 16 |
| #5 | kashim | 43% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DC | 45% | 38 |
| #2 | finley | 44% | 18 |
| #3 | .Cook | 44% | 27 |
| #4 | BUBBLES | 44% | 16 |
| #5 | kashim | 43% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BUBBLES | 2 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | kashim | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | DC | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | finley | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DC | 77 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #2 | kashim | 73 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | .Cook | 30 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | finley | 9 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #5 | BUBBLES | 1 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WOLFGANG | +2.05 | 84 | 31 |
| #2 | DC | +2.04 | 50 | 54 |
| #3 | finley | -0.56 | 41 | 41 |
| #4 | .Cook | -0.72 | 45 | 38 |
| #5 | kashim | -1.06 | 52 | 43 |





