








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 285 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 84 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2362 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,282 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1652 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1464 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1118 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1048 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,074,567 of utility $196 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 121 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lost Boy Joschi | 60% | 58 |
| #2 | guad4lx | 59% | 34 |
| #3 | Papst Swaggedikt XVI | 54% | 89 |
| #4 | Geck | 52% | 21 |
| #5 | Hanson Makok | 50% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | woro5k | 29 | 0.0098 |
| #2 | KO1N | 7 | 0.0073 |
| #3 | Papst Swaggedikt XVI | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Lost Boy Joschi | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Geck | 4 | 0.0087 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Papst Swaggedikt XVI | 232 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #2 | woro5k | 123 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #3 | KO1N | 104 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Lost Boy Joschi | 89 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | Spitzweger Erich | 68 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hanson Makok | +5.78 | 92 | 65 |
| #2 | Geck | +3.59 | 88 | 75 |
| #3 | killedmyself | +2.74 | 68 | 67 |
| #4 | Lost Boy Joschi | +2.16 | 72 | 64 |
| #5 | KO1N | +1.86 | 46 | 74 |





