








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 120 matches | ||
| Premier | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2256 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,777 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1721 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2529 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2633 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2894 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $411,495 of utility $69 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kakka | 75% | 16 |
| #2 | kÄÄk | 63% | 94 |
| #3 | pilu | 60% | 15 |
| #4 | HattoriHanzo | 58% | 174 |
| #5 | mOnKeY | 57% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Tobi-Wan Kenobi | 53% | 200 |
| #8 | decof | 53% | 36 |
| #9 | jessE | 48% | 29 |
| #10 | Toimitt | 47% | 15 |
| #11 | jamal | 42% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tobi-Wan Kenobi | 8 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | decof | 3 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | HattoriHanzo | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | mOnKeY | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | jamal | 2 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | decof | +6.15 | 90 | 65 |
| #2 | kakka | +3.09 | 80 | 52 |
| #3 | mOnKeY | +2.14 | 87 | 62 |
| #4 | pilu | +1.93 | 78 | 52 |
| #5 | HattoriHanzo | +1.44 | 77 | 78 |





