








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 471 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 472 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3446 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,683 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3521 | 20% |
| Smokes | 4883 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2990 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 6289 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $744,349 of utility $66 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 187 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chaka | 60% | 50 |
| #2 | Gonky | 58% | 45 |
| #3 | Battle Droid | 51% | 123 |
| #4 | Stew Stew | 51% | 449 |
| #5 | theMFR | 40% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chaka | 60% | 50 |
| #2 | Gonky | 58% | 45 |
| #3 | Battle Droid | 51% | 123 |
| #4 | Stew Stew | 51% | 449 |
| #5 | theMFR | 40% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stew Stew | 16 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Gonky | 9 | 0.0093 |
| #3 | Chaka | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | theMFR | 3 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | Battle Droid | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stew Stew | 729 | 0.08 | 18 min |
| #2 | theMFR | 123 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | Gonky | 111 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Battle Droid | 71 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | Chaka | 20 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gonky | +4.69 | 89 | 56 |
| #2 | Battle Droid | +3.63 | 83 | 34 |
| #3 | theMFR | +0.25 | 66 | 52 |
| #4 | Stew Stew | -0.55 | 33 | 52 |
| #5 | MikeWhoCheeseHarry | -1.41 | 45 | 49 |





