








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 753 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 833 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 79 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6799 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,769 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3094 | 10% |
| Smokes | 9003 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 8970 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 10702 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,072,019 of utility $56 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 259 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gonky | 60% | 72 |
| #2 | Chaka | 58% | 71 |
| #3 | Battle Droid | 53% | 125 |
| #4 | MikeWhoCheeseHarry | 51% | 449 |
| #5 | theMFR | 45% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gonky | 60% | 72 |
| #2 | Chaka | 58% | 71 |
| #3 | Battle Droid | 53% | 125 |
| #4 | MikeWhoCheeseHarry | 51% | 449 |
| #5 | theMFR | 45% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MikeWhoCheeseHarry | 24 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Gonky | 12 | 0.0077 |
| #3 | theMFR | 6 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Chaka | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Battle Droid | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MikeWhoCheeseHarry | 1320 | 0.14 | 31 min |
| #2 | theMFR | 216 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | Gonky | 179 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Battle Droid | 73 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | Chaka | 33 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gonky | +4.43 | 87 | 52 |
| #2 | Battle Droid | +3.35 | 84 | 34 |
| #3 | theMFR | -0.19 | 68 | 53 |
| #4 | Stew Stew | -0.30 | 34 | 52 |
| #5 | MikeWhoCheeseHarry | -1.35 | 46 | 50 |





